Remember?

Finally met P again. A brief but romantic gathering at 海燕.

My P has finally come back.

I spent the whole day at home, most of the time watching DVDs. Of the movies I watched today, only "天下無賊" was worth seeing. The story was quite interesting. Especially, it touched the chord of my heart. To let P believe 世上有好人, I am doing things like 狼保護羊.

Almond croissant and café latté:

breakfast


鹹魚肉片飯:

lunch

Combination salad deluxe:

dinner

Just received a called from P. She is still in Chongqing. I am very happy to hear from her.

Today, I went to have lunch with 查, 趙 and E. To me, the three ladies are like 張小嫻筆下的女主角：只能住跑馬地，不能住屯門... Fortunately, all of them are doing well.

查 and 趙 are holding quite senior positions in big companies. But E is the luckiest of the three because she 嫁得好. E married a man whom she had loved for many years. And above all, her husband is rich. I will never imagine to possess what he is having: a decent apartment in Happy Valley, a luxurious car, the membership of Jockey Club and so on.

各有前因莫羨人!


Club

The story of 泰雯 is quite strange. 泰雯 is not a direct friend of mine. Rather, she is 硬漢's another 紅顏知己. When I first knew her, she was a masseuse. Then she went to study for a law degree. After a few years, she is now approaching graduation and will soon become a lawyer. I hope P will have also got the same chance to 脫貧. See what I can help her...

I had some luck last night. I won a 3x1 in World Cup qualifiers. The first time to win a 3x1! The matches I betted on were Bulgaria vs Sweden, Georgia vs Greece and Slovenia vs Germany. I gambled on all away. The final odds (dividend) is 2.3x2.05x1.95 = 9.19. Nice.


Game

Somehow I went to Guangzhou. I had passed by the city several time before. But this was the first time I really looked at the city more seriously. Apparantly, nothing was particularly interesting to me, after visiting other Chinese cities like Shanghai, Beijing and Shenzhen.


Guangzhou

Afterwards, I went to Chime Long Night Zoo in the evening. It is not bad. The Chime Long Hotel near it is quite splendid, I would say.

I miss P. What is she doing now?

Today is the first day of a long weekend. It is the earliest Easter since 1989. I am going away for 3 days. Still with a lot of profound philosophical questions in my mind. What is life? What is love? What is destiny? Is my future already determined?...

硬漢 told me a story about his friend involved in an extra-marital affair. It is quite interesting, though not astonishing. I have heard more complicated stories than that from people around me. 硬漢 said it is sad if children are involved. I tend to agree. But I have the following story:

A friend of mine had divorced and remarried. He has three children. One from him and his ex-wife. One from his current wife and her ex-husband. One from him and his current wife. Complicated? Yes, especially when the children are living together. And how about the second child? Its last name is not the same...

So many such cases around me. I have got Joy who is in love with a divorced guy with two girls. I have got Man who marries a divorced woman with a son. I have got Mag who doesn't mind to have an affair even she is married and with two children.

Maybe, simple is beautiful.

Back to 硬漢. He said he didn't have any hard feeling about his friend's happening. I wonder because I think he likes her. Maybe I am wrong. But in the last couple of years, has 硬漢　loved anyone (Bris, Sec, LA, LG, Lu, 翠鳥...)? Is he being too stingy about love? Or does he believe in "由於不想被人拒絕，所以首先拒絕他人"?

On the contrary, I am too easy to fall in love.

Had dinner with 輝 and 虹 last evening. When I first knew them in 1993, all three of us were poor. Now, they are quite well off. Good for them.


Friends

We talked about a lot of things and persons, including L and J.

L is someone I loved dearly. We were so close to getting married. She said she would become a nun if I abandoned her. But she ended up abandoning me. The last time I saw her was in 1996. She had been married and given birth to a baby by then. Wish her a happy life.




Over the last 10 years, J has changed a lot. When I first met her, she was a love mania who missed her boyfriend every day (the same time and the same place when I missed my L most). Finally she got married to the same guy. Then she divorced him a few years later. Now she has 2 tattoos and is sleeping around. According to 輝, J is regretting the divorce. After all, she thinks her ex-husband is the best.

Just came back from a lunch with 老馮, an old friend.


OF

Psychologically, 老馮 has got a double identity. On the one hand, he wants to be a faithful husband. On the other hand, he wants to explore fun outside a mundane marriage life. Exactly like the guys in the movie "大丈夫".

While 老馮 envies 硬漢's freedom, will 硬漢 also envy 老馮's family life? I don't know. 硬漢 seems never to be serious about women. I am quite the opposite. Being too serious about women has led to many failures in my life. It is a pity that I never learn from past mistakes. I remember the song "明日世界終結時": 人在相戀時，原是最脆弱時候；無情及無愛，也許會有利成就... Maybe there is some truth there.

Today is a new beginning for 硬漢. He has got a new job with the same employer. In the last few years, he used to travel a lot to mainland China, largely to Shanghai and Beijing. Starting from today, he will spend much more time in HK. It is amazing to me that someone can work for the same organisation for so long. But many of my school mates have done that. Working in the same company since graduation from university. More than 15 years or so!

硬漢 always says he is a passer-by and a man with no root. Maybe he can settle down now. Good luck to him in his new job!

According to the Chinese, today is 春分 - the middle of spring. It is the day when durations of day and night are exactly equal.

Just watched the final bit of the match between Ajax and PSV Eindhoven. The result was 0:4.

There is now an interesting programme in Jade TVB every Saturday late night. It is the cartoon "怪醫黑傑克" by 手塚治蟲. They chose to put it in late night probably because it is not that suitable for children. I agree because the contents are mostly about illness and death. And a lot of stories are quite sad. I read the comic strip a long long time ago...



Surprisingly, the names of many cartoon characters have been changed since then. They are different from the ones I used to know when I was a boy. For example, 叮噹 becomes 多啦A夢. 小飛俠 becomes 小飛俠阿童木; and 怪醫秦博士 becomes 怪醫黑傑克. I think it doesn't matter to young kids. But as an old man, I am resistant to changes...

This was the last time I saw P before she will get back to Chongqing for holiday. I think our story is somewhat like the one between 秋葉 and 霧子 in "化身" by 渡邊淳一. An old man loves a young lady and wants to help her by his limited resources...


P

P, 保重!

Today is quite warm and humid. I think spring has finally come.

Another tiring day. I don't know why I have to do all these. Above all, I am sick of telling lies. And I am afraid of being caught telling lies. When you tell a lie, you have to remember it for life. You must be ready to repeat it when necessary to complete a consisten story...

硬漢 said I was tired of P. I am not. I am just tired of the middle-aged crisis I am facing with. As P will be away for some time, it is time to have a deeper thought of everything.

Had a quick bite this afternoon in KFC. 2 hot wings, 1 egg-tart (Macau-styled) and 1 hot drink for $15.


KFC1

I then remembered something. "We do chicken right" is a slogan in KFC. But I don't know why the translation in KFC of mainland China becomes "我們做鷄是對的". Ha?!....Salute!


KFC2

I am getting psychologically prepared for tomorrow's job interview. Without a single clue about the questions that would be asked tomorrow, I don't know what to prepare. In the first place, don't know the purpose of tomorrow's interview!

Anyway, I try to do something. So, I read the book "How would you move Mount Fuji?" recommended by 硬漢. For God's sake, they are not asking me those questions...

Today is quite cold. Only 11 degree Celsius. It is quite unusual because it is already mid-March now. TVB just broadcast it is the coldest day in March for the last 17 years.

Still quite exhausted after the previous day's adventure. Yesterday, I went to see P again after seeing her sexy picture posted in a local newspaper. I was quite upset. I don't like her employer using her to attractive potential customers. She doesn't like it too. Her employer is treating them badly. Fully utilises them and penalises them for small things...

I nearly killed myself by telling lies.

Yesterday, Mr Tung Chee Wah finally resigned from his office of Cheif Executive of HKSAR. There are a lot of speculations about his resignation. Is he resigning of his own accord because of health reasons? Has the central government made such a request? Or is he under pressure of any sort? No one will know the correct answer.

Donald Tsang will be the acting Chief Executive, and most probably the next Chief Executive. Personally, I think he is a slicker. In my opinion, the best candidate for the office would be Anson Chan - "the conscience of HK". Unfortunately, the central government doesn't like her.


Bye

Today, 硬漢 and I went to meet P and 翠鳥.

翠鳥 is a colleague of P. She is a very sophiscated girl. Much sophiscated than P. She knows when to say what to please you. I think she and 硬漢 are quite a pair. Because 硬漢 has also got a gifted talent to please the opposite sex.



By the way, I have to keep on telling lies to my beloved ones from time to time to survive. I remember there is a Chinese 俗語: "豬八戒照鏡, 內外不是人". This exactly describes my current situation. I don't want to be Pinocchio. Neither do I want to have double identity, like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Help!

I have stopped dreaming of C.

C is the most influential woman to me in my life. I knew her since university time. We had been good friends for over 10 years. But a man and a woman cannot be good friends forever, as stipulated in "When Harry Met Sally". Sooner or later sex will be involved. This is exactly what happened between C and me. A few years ago, I made a bold attempt to make love to her. She rejected me. And that is the end of our story! I didn't want to waste more time on her. 10 years without sex (of course with her only) was too much for me.

A few years after "When Harry Met Sally", there was another movie called "Green Card". It had something like this to say in its ad, "They got married; they met; and then they fell in love..." Personally, I will rephrase it as "Sex comes first, love afterwards."

Last evening, I finally managed to ask P for dinner at Laurel Restaurant. I asked her why she was busy for the whole day. She told me she was accompanying her little sister. Shame on me! She was not with another guy!

Anyway, this was the first time I met her without any sexual activities. Just dinner together. I am happy because I want to be an angel beside her, not just another patron. It is easier to say than to do. No matter how noble my intention is, I don't know how much I can help. Personally, I have a lot of constraints. And I don't know what I am aiming for or going after. Who am I? 周慕雲 in "花樣年華" or in "2046"? A gentleman or a playboy?


Laurel Restaurant

This morning when I went out for breakfast, I met M near her office building. I thought she did not see me and I did not greet her. She is pregnant with a big abdomen. I think she is expecting her baby in a month's time. She looked quite ugly. People say that women look ugly when carrying baby girls. I have known M for almost 10 years. I have hated her, liked her, admired her and now have no feeling about her.


M 

After returning home, I called P. She told me she is on leave today. I asked if I am welcome to come to meet her. She declined saying she would be busy. An idea flashed across my mind: she is with another guy today! This disappointed me. But 硬漢 told me to take it easy. I tend to agree. Because what can I promise for her in return?

Jealousy arises because of love and jealousy destroys love.

I lost money in soccer bets again. The results of the matches were quite weird (eg. the final result of Crystal Palace vs Mancester United was 0:0). I have lost a lot of money for the last couple of weeks. Should I quit gambling?

Today is 驚蟄. According to the Chinese, it is the day when all the hibernated animals (reptiles, insects, etc) revive. It is also the day the Chinese will go to 打小人.

This morning, I watched the movie "The Incredibles". It got 2 Oscar awards. I think it is quite an amusing animation.

My friend 硬漢 is sick again today. He complained it was due to the cold weather in HK. Yes, today is quite cold (10-14 degree Celsius).

I think I am sick too. Mentally. Because I keep on thinking about another friend P. Who is P? P is a brave girl who left her family, went to a strange city, and is doing a difficult job by entertaining different people (I believe most of them are bastards). She is doing this in order to support her peasant family in a distant rural area.

By the way, my intention of setting up this blog is to record what is happening to me. I am afraid I will one day become 曽志偉 in "半枝煙" who started to forget the face of the one he loved most in his life...